a blast from the past...

I found an old friend on facebook today. It's her birthday and I woke up thinking about her. She lived a sort of tough life. Her parents took awhile getting their act together and she had a bit of a wild period when we were in high school. When we found each other a few years after graduating I was thrilled that she was very "settled" down with a man she obviously adored and who felt the same way about her. We kept in touch over the years and I loved that they were so affectionate and had such a solid marriage. They have three kids, she was very close to his family and even nursed her mil through a terminal illness, as I remember. They were always saving for their retirement. She worked like crazy until they had kids and then she stayed home with them until they were all in upper elementary. She went to work right around the corner from their house. She was very frugile, but they made time for each other and they were great parents. They were a very traditional family. She took care of their home, for the most part, and W worked hard and brought home the bacon. A few years before we moved to Texas, she called and told me that they had sold their house in Swartz Creek and had decided to move up north to be closer to his family before their kids got too old to move away from friends. We lost each other for a while...
We sent messages back and forth on fb all day today trying to catch up with each other's lives. When I asked how she and W were enjoying Boyne City, she told me that they had divorced 5 or 6 years ago and that it was a very UGLY divorce. I'm profoundly sad about this. I would've bet money on their marriage making it and flourishing...
She told me that as she read my wall on fb and looked at my pictures, she was moved by how much B and I obviously adore each other. I told her we had just gone through our own hell for a few years and that we appreciate each other more because of all we experienced, but that it wasn't all pretty.
How do we just let go of 20 or more years of history with someone?, especially when we share kids, holiday memories, weddings, deaths, illnesses, vacations, laughter, joy, intimacies...I just can't wrap my head around this. What the heck is the point? I can't imagine the pain the two of them must have experienced. He's already remarried. She lives with her boyfriend. I'm sad. I'm thankful for my husband, my marriage. I'm thankful that we got a second chance and choose to honor each other every day. Sometimes when this kind of stuff comes into my journey I worry that we'll forget or lose our way again. I'm so tired of being on shaky ground.