How does God take all of your pain - and I mean the kind that makes you not want to go on, even when you think about your children - and suddenly take it away and replace it with deep abiding love? I mean I've been sitting in pain that was dibilitating for 2 1/2 years and I finally got back on my feet and He's been leading me along and then BAM!!!! Something happened that made the last two years look like a booger and I honestly didn't want to go on. I cried out to Him and told Him how mad I was at Him for allowing this to happen to me after everything else I've experienced. I'm telling you, I didn't think I was going to make it through. And then, as I had to face my worst fear, He lifted my pain, my fear and He gave me this joy, this love and this trust that I haven't experienced EVER. I feel like He woke me up! I remember who I am and I can even see my sin, my part in all of this. He's doing a huge work in me. I know the painful part isn't over, yet, but I'm seeing the fruit of what I've gone through this past few years and I'm growing a kind of faith that I've never had before. I can't get over how broken I am and how good it feels...
