From Penelope to Hannah...

Last night we watched "Penelope" and it was pretty darned good. It wasn't any "Little Miss Sunshine" or "Lars..." , but it was good. I want my kids to be self-empowered. I really hated Penelope's mom, Christine O'Hara, who always plays this part, but, then again, I was supposed to! Hannah is madly in love with James McAvoy right now, so we have to see everything with him in it. I can't believe how fast she is growing up. We had to go into Austin today for a meeting about a cooking club/class she's starting next month and on the way there, a 20-something year old (handsome) guy pulls up next to us and was doing everything he could to catch her eye! I wanted to yell, "Hey, she's 14, you freak!" , but instead I pointed him out to her and we laughed and he kept dodging cars to keep up with us, all the while waving to her, etc. She said it made her uncomfortable in front of me. I felt kind of disappointed. I mean I don't want to be one of those moms who relives my teen years through my daughter (or at all, thank you very much) and I definitely believe in being a mom first and her friend next, but I want her to embrace this part of herself and her life! I think it's big fun to get attention like that. It's part of being a woman. You know, as long as she doesn't look for it or depend on it, it's just a bonus, right? There is this other part of me, (yes, the cliche' part) that can't remember where the heck the time went. When did she grow up so much? She looks 18 or 20 , not 14! I hear it from people almost daily. She has been putting together her high school plan and it seems so much for her age and then I realize she is starting college classes in 1-2 years. She is so mature in some ways and then she freaks out over any "Dora" thing she sees or acts silly with her brothers like this....

and I realize she is only 14 and still my little girl - or at least part of her. I really like her. She has the best sense of humor, she loves to read classics, she loves all kinds of music (well, not all, but she hates the same ones I do, so that's good), she is so kind hearted, but not a doormat anymore, she loves nice guys (such a load off my mind!), she has the most beautiful, soulful voice when she sings and she really feels it, she always makes sure people feel part of things and not left out - I love that about her -, she is so artistic in so many ways, drawing, painting, clothing, hair, singing, playing piano, decorating, etc. She gets what's important most of the time. She loves and takes care of her brothers like another momma. Sometimes that bites her in the butt, but it's just who she is! Did I mention that she LOVES to cook and can do it like someone who spent a year in France or something. She is an artist in the kitchen... now if I could just get her to clean up after herself...

I wish I could slow down and REALLY spend some time with her; getting to know her better and making sure she knows how spectacular I think she is. Her love language is definitely "quality time" and I know I don't meet her needs. I want to do special girl things with her, but the practical side of me gets caught up in the day to day and it always seems like it will cost money that we just don't have. Wow, writing that down and reading it, makes it seem so lame! I need to REALLY work on that... She'll be gone before I know it. What's that thing that Sara Groves sings?... something like "at the end of your life, your relationships are all you've got." I just want to make sure I have a relationship with her that I've truly nurtured and treasured and I want her to know that I feel that way because of my actions, not because I say it. Right now I have to go because she's beating the crap out of her brother...