Help me get past this feeling of entitlement. I believe You should’ve protected me and prevented this betrayal. I believe You don’t love me so much because You could’ve stopped this or at least shown me, so I could’ve stopped it sooner. I was a very good wife. I tried so hard to follow Your lead and become the wife you called me to be and yet, You never opened his eyes to who I really was while satan was helping him see me in such an awful light.
He was behaving in such a selfish way and almost destroyed me and our kids’ lives, yet here he is, happier than ever, while I feel insecure about every aspect of my self and our life together. He feels closer to You than he ever has and I feel like I’m not even sure if You exist sometimes. I am SO angry and I know it all makes sense to You and I know I sound like Veruca, from Willie Wonka,”I want it NOW, Daddy!,” but the truth is, I can’t seem to get past this without Your help and I don’t sense Your presence. I need You to please work through this with me and please don’t take anything else away from me while I’m trying (once again) to find my way back to You. I need my Abba Father. I need You to move the boulder and help me to move toward You with outstretched arms. I don’t know how I can move ahead in any area of my life until I make some progress with You. It's just been so long and I don't trust anyone. What do I do with that?...
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